The Most Discriminated Minorities in the World

Soooo…for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Buchi Offodile and I am kind of a big deal. I will be guest writing for this blog for the next few weeks…or until Toby kicks me off…whichever comes first. We should get an Over/Under poll started. I am going with under 5 weeks. Leave your vote in the comments. Send payments to my email address. Oh, and in the spirit of full disclosure…all proceeds go to me

Anyway, I was recently thinking about the world’s minorities and I eventually came around to asking myself if any single group of minorities has it worse than all the others. Another way to think about this is by asking, “who should we help first?” If you have heard of the 80/20 rule, then you know where I am going with this. The 80/20 rule says that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. I don’t know about you, but when I first heard this I thought it was the Slackers’ Anthem and Justification. However, I eventually realized that the 80/20 rule is about focus, not effort. It says that if you focus on solving the most important problems (20%), then you will get most of your desired results (80%). So, this brings me back to my initial question. “Who has it the worst?”

Well…it can’t be Blacks or African-Americans. I mean, I love us but we cannot really claim to be the most discriminated minority group when we have one of our own in the White House…although the fact that it is a white house might be worth considering. Just kidding. Anyway, I understand that we still have problems with reverse racism and ignorance but it could be worse. I’ve also got love for my Latinos, Hispanics, and Boricuas, but y’all are the most populous minority group in America right now. Not to mention the fact that your youth are very in tune with their cultural/ethnic roots, unlike their African-American counterparts. That sense of family, culture, and tradition will sustain you for generations to come. I don’t think Asians or Pacific Islanders deserve the title of the Most Discriminated Minority either. Generally speaking, they also benefit from strong cultural ties and sound upbringing. Believe it or not, I thought about this for nearly an hour before I was finally able to pick one group.

The title of Most Discriminated Minority Group in the world goes to Lefties. You heard me. Lefties. Everything is made for Righties and if it happens to be made for Lefties as well, then it is either really hard to find or absolutely impossible to find. We are an afterthought. Think about it (pun intended). Baseball gloves. Golf clubs. Pocket knives. Scissors. Button down shirts. Manual can openers. Lawnmowers. Computer mice. Nerf Vortex footballs. (You know, the important stuff.) Most kitchen cabinets. Refrigerators. Cars (in America). Those little pen and pencil attachments that I tried to use in 3rd grade because they were supposed to teach me how to hold my writing utensils correctly. Designer dress pants that only have one back pocket. The little buttons on the side of most wrist watches. PC keyboards. Belts. Even double doors. You always enter double doored buildings on the right and exit on the right, right? That means you use your right hand to open the door unless you have to push, right? What about the forgotten lefties whose first instinct is to open the left door with their left hands? We are marginalized and belittled with sneering comments and deriding looks. No, there shall be no reprieve for us. We are institutional outcasts. In some cultures, we are even viewed as the devil’s henchmen. Woe to us who were born a little different.

So the next time you think about complaining about how bad your minority group has it, think about the plight of the lefties. The only consolation we can take, and quite frankly, the only consolation we need is that God made a few people perfect…he made everyone else right-handed. I bid you good day.

(for more thought-provoking articles check out my blog: Exposé by Buchi Offodile)